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These mini-relationships can be frustrating, but I see them as smart. Sometimes it takes two to three dates to know that and move on. And sometimes it takes two to three months to decide whether a relationship is worth exploring. You get to know someone as a person rather than a first-date personality. Conversation goes deeper than funny stories or the latest work drama. You can see how a person holds up under GPS stress or what happens when running into friends becomes an impromptu double date. You get a small sense ssites what partnership might feel like.

The musician who was my age but in a completely different stage of life. The consultant who was attentive and enthusiastic — until he hooiup a big project and disappeared. And sure, plenty of men and women land in those categories. But I think the decline of marriage and monogamy has sjtes something good for dating. It has made singles think more before getting serious with someone, which can only mean better, stronger matches eventually. And yes, more mini-relationships in the meantime. We probably had only about a month left in us anyway. When a colleague suggested I write about dating, my first reaction was, Really?

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I look up to find my companions have gone quiet, standing transfixed in the blue-white glow of their smartphone screens. Two of my friends cannot suppress a guilty grin. The apps, which make quick, no-strings sex easier than ever, have reordered gay lifeand left many wondering if real dating is a dying social custom. To be fair, some men using the apps are looking for non-sexual connections, such as new friends, workout buddies or simply online chats. But in the feeding frenzy to score, most men make their selections based on sexual attractiveness, and in a manner similar to ordering pizza toppings. To begin with, men segregate themselves among the apps.

Grindr attracts young, buff white men. Older-younger combinations hook up on Mister. Some men bark out requirements: Virtually all of my clients met each other through more traditional avenues, such as mutual friends, volunteer groups and church. Photographing their weddings gives me hope not only for our LGBT community, but for my own romantic dream. As dinner breaks up, I elect to make a final pass through Number Nine. After a few moments, I am approached by a good-looking blond with a smile from a toothpaste commercial. He points his phone at me like a Taser. And he wanders off into the crowd. Robert Dodge, a former Washington correspondent for the Dallas Morning News, is an independent writer and photographer in Washington.

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