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Going from dating to friends

So get on with it. Are you will of dating. Beyond, be lost and advanced toward yourself. Through now is a commitment ear, a nod, a certain shared between reconnected friends—and that is enough to connecting this day. A join of images haunted me:.

If it all goes sour, you can make more friends. If you really want to know what this can be, you have to put yourself out there and go for it. Relax, and remember the factors that make the two of you friends in the first place. In the movie When Harry Met Sally, their friendship evolved to weirdness because they forgot the things that made them friends. They were able to rebuild towards love once the safety of their friendship was back in tact. And that still might be the case for the other person, so leave room for Going from dating to friends possibility.

Do not involve other friends I know you want to bat around the idea with your other friends, but if they are good friends with your bestie, introducing this new relationship element may complicate things. That lack of immediate validation may make you feel insecure and want to retreat. Yo-yoing from friend to interested to friend will confuse the other person, so be strong, firm, and secure in your feelings. Give them the time they need to know how they feel about you. Not pursuing things can lead to years of wishing and wasting your time. So get on with it!

Insomnia was my only sleeping companion. Immediately, I abbreviated contact with Paul. No more hanging around at the end of the day to chitchat. No e-mail, no notes, no calls. Yes, it was painful, after many years of chatting up Paul whenever I thought of him or wanted to know what was going on in his life, but I also stopped dwelling. I took a hiking trip with friends. I reconnected with family. I read more novels than I thought possible. I also journaled for the first time in years. For two weeks straight, I woke to write five blessings. I enjoyed simple pleasures and took time alone to connect with and savor what is.

Most of all, I needed to exercise the same compassion and tenderness towards myself that I offer to others. Realize that feelings are fleeting.

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A stream of questions haunted me: I ran every irrational, worst-case scenario. Deep breaths and mindful meditation cooled my mind enough to realize that worst-case scenarios serve no one. Disappointment cannot be ignored and yet, like any emotion, it is a passing state, undulating like waves to the shoreline. We are impermanent beings in flux, and we cannot expect either our relationships or those in our lives to remain static. It was unrealistic of me to believe that Paul would always have time to talk on the phone or share a lunch much less that he would somehow choose to remain single without knowing, forthrightly, my feelings for him.

While I could not rewind time and ask him out directly, I started to see my own irrationalities and inconsistencies as part of what had brought me to this path.

My new yearnings, though seemingly powerful, were as fluctuating as those storm-tossed waves. I mourned certain things about Paul during our friendship hiatus: Those qualities which attracted me to Paul, I realized, do not solely belong to him. They were qualities that, had you asked my friends or family, I might be said to possess and that I might say they possess, too. His humor and insights captivated me. We hiked, we shared long phone conversations, and we offered everyday observations that left us both in stitches.


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